MirrorrM part 3
People who say "I don’t have to prove myself to anyone, I believe in what I do and that’s enough"
I am sure…. Your life may be totally your own but when it comes to doing certain things, you ain’t fucking within control. Unless your family members are all dead and you have no friends. Meaning, you are a total loner.
Classic example.
If you can’t prove to your dad that you driving skills are good, he ain’t gonna lend you your car. Dude, its time to prove yourself to yourself. Go ahead an buy yourself a car.
What I am saying is, someday, somehow, you have gotta prove yourself to someone else in order to do certain things. You are seldom in full control.
Maybe there is some out there who thinks that my parents don’t control me much. Well, I haven’t heard anyone say that but I know someday, someone will say so. I spent the past 4 to 5 years proving myself in almost every aspect to my dad. It’s a matter of the innate ego of fathers. Once I was totally look down upon and I was quite unhappy with the fact that he never taught me much as a child. It was only then that I realise I had the best lesson in life.
Don’t depend on others to hold your hand along the steps. If I want to "no need to prove myself to anyone but myself", I first got to prove myself to them. Prove to them that without "you" I can fly higher. Prove "I don’t need you"
How does it feel like when you know your father will say you are useless if you tell him you failed in accomplishing something. When you try to seek parental comfort, you get scorned at. The feeling sucks. But who knows? Maybe it was just his way of using reverse psychology to encourage. Now as I wirte (wrong spelling. Who cares? That’s a pure mistake. Here in the realmZ od tha minds ist perfactli aceptaber) I think I found the cradle of my "I will not fail or lose" mentality. SO in almost evrything I did eversince, failure cease to exist. Drive test, A levels, O levels, NS, Scholarships, CCA you name it. Everytime I attepmt something that involves any means of meauring success and failure, my dad is at the back of my mind. Like a ropeless climber. There is no room for failure.
Thus, the words Sorry lose fail or regret does not exist.
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