< Zentenism
Sunday, August 19, 2007

1)Know what you want and how to achieve them
2)The feel good factor comes when you learn to appreciate the situation.
3)Making the best out of the worse situation. That's greatness.
4)When caught in a situation, ask yourself what you feel like doing.

Things I want to achieve over the next 20 weeks.
1. strengthen existing friendship
2. expand social circle
3. improve GPA
4. silence is a weapon
5. stay focused. Be reminded of my goals and be wary of distractions.
6. Don't shortchange myself. Don't be unfair to myself.

One - Up - Lucifer

- posted by zente at 7:45 AM

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Term 2 began well, Ended Fantastic. That's because I managed to achieve all the goals I laid out. SUmmer began well, was fantastic and then I had some setbacks. Morale was low. But now, just when school is about to begin once again, I can feel myself rising again. That is good. I will peak during school term.

Yr 2 term 1 is all about performance. And today, someone asked, how are you going to make a difference. Now, goal setting

Academic/Career Goals
Improve GPA. I don't like to shortchange myself. Lets try for 4.3 this term. Knowing that I achieve a GPA of 4.3 when I have hell lot of stuff going on during the term. Gosh, I will definitely feel high

Expand Network, lias with key positions in the industries. Leverage on connections with OCS.
Framework has been laid. I better achieve it.

Sell someone my own brand of shirt. Heh. A few pieces for a start.

Social goal
This is where I want to make a difference. I want to inspire people and see them motivated to fly. Like me, be positive.

Personal Development
As doro said, I agree that I tend to reflect too much. Its a good thing to reflect. But an overdose of reflection sets performance low by reducing morale. Learn to manage it. Reflect when the time is right. Fuck it when its time to perform. Between being positive and being negative, there is an option. Heck care, ignore temporary, perform.

Escalate pride to a new level.

Learn that silence is a form of restrained strength and that it is a weapon.

- posted by zente at 10:33 AM


When someone once took that spot
And then you moved on
its really hard for someone else to take that spot
Maybe thats why, my heart has died.
No point looking into the past, no point looking for someone to fill that space.

- posted by zente at 10:30 AM

Saturday, August 04, 2007

I feel f-d up. And I hate the fact that there are things which are beyond me. I seriously hate that.

So much for all the positive thinking. Which builds faith and motivation and keeps me going. Only to dissapoint. And this itself is negative thinking because dissapointment only comes when you focus on the negative.

I am too competitive. And maybe it's time I review my mindset.Maybe what I need to learn is to heck care.Don't care about being positive or negative. Just leave it be.

First it was a stupid jade short which set me back financially and now it is cutting off one arm of me because I can no longer trade.

Then there was a stupid car accident which was pure dumb

And then there is the realisation that I am not among the top ranks in school.

Internal locus of control : Why do I keep fucking up.
External locus of control : Why the fuck do these things keep happening to me.

Its no longer about being positive or being negative. Its one step up, I don't dare to be positive. Fine, I am glad that it is innate in me to be positive and to have great awareness of my emotional state such that I always remain positive. But now I am losing faith in this ability itself. What for?

At this stage, I able to choose between being positive or negative or not to think about it at all. But I don't dare to take any of these options for fear of the consequences. What happened to free will? My confidence is totally shaken and i am keeping it back.

I can't even like a person. And have to tell myself to suppress and destroy the feeling. All these concerns about these and that. WHERE IS FREE WILL?

- posted by zente at 7:20 PM


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