performance indicator:
Sat - 2/10
Sunday -4/10
Monday - 5/10. I give myself credit for contributing towards TWC and BGS project and finishing the bulk of my Stats Assignment. Other than that. 2 thumbs down.
What makes me pissed of is the fact that I know whats the problem - distraction.
I can't think of a way to solve the problem and I can't summon the will to solve it.
Another thing.The dilemma of moving away from this problem solving mentality and don't think about it. The SOI issue. I don't even want to spell it out.
Third. My discipline is like gone.
Fourth issue. I am way too careless about the things I do and how I relate to others. In short, I don't know what the star I am doing. I am doing things one moment and feeling dumb about myself the next. I am leading my day to day life with no sense of direction.
So if you think about it in terms of my 5 Ms of Success - Morale, motivation, Mission, Measures and Mind.
Motivation is no where in sight. My will is Gone F. As such I am straying off the process(measure) and all this leads to an overall decline in morale. Good thing is, the long term goal is unshaken. Wonderful, seems like the interconnected parts of my engine is crumbling.
Worse of all, my mom is pissing me off with stupid questions.
Separate issue: I was just telling Lifeng about scandal management. It seems to have ricochete back to me. Which leads me back to point one. I am partially responsible. Yet I can't seem to do anything. Maybe I don't have to do anything. But I am feeling uncomfortable not doing anything about it and letting the situation stray off on its own. Dilemma. Should I close the doors and sort myself out? Or should I, as I have sworn to learn, be brave enough to stick through this SOI issue, sort it once and for all. Option, 2.
You know what, I am gonna sleep now. And when I wake up tomorrow, I will bear three things in mind.
1. I won't allow anything to shake my emotions or my mind.
2. I give myself 1 month to sort this SOI issue, bearing in mind the concept of "I do as I wish"
3. Because I still know what my goals are, and I still want to achieve them, this is only a passing phase.
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